For anyone needing a good laugh, please read on! Ray came up with this several years ago, and we still laugh when we read it!
Anybody can make a turkey call that sounds like a turkey. After all, some turkeys don’t even sound like turkeys themselves. I wanted to go a step further and create calls that would stir the nostalgic memories of days gone by. So while you are waiting for Mr. Tom to slip within range, you can sit back and re-live old times. Here are some samples of unique sounds and tones you may select for your hand-made Peace River Turkey Call. You may have some other sound that is a favorite of your own and not on the list. Send it in, I relish a challenge!
- Ordinary turkey
- Extraordinary turkey
- Confused turkey
- Turkey with personal problems
- Squeaky seat on a ’43 John Deer tractor
- Lid on a ’64 Lone Ranger lunch box
- The sound your dog makes when he knows you’re going turkey hunting without him
- The whine your wife makes every year when March rolls around
- Gate latch on Grandpa’s farm
- The sound of chalk scraping across the board in Mrs. Simmons’ 1st grade class
- The sound Danny Maxwell (the school bully) made when I got him in a headlock and he nearly passed out
- The sound Danny Maxwell made every time he saw me coming after that
- Brahms Lullaby –there ain’t nothing like sleeping in a cypress swamp in the springtime
- Honeymooner’s bedspring
- Billy Ray’s Walker hound after chasing coons for a week straight
- And finally, Sweet Sixteen. This call has perfect pitch as certified by my wife who is a music major from Huntington, West Virginia. This call is guaranteed to bring in the biggest, fattest, longest-bearded gobbler in your neck of the woods. Every time. Period. (This call available on backorder only as it is still in the development stage)
- Oh, I almost forgot one –it’s the Silent Call. As far as I know I’m the only maker that offers this call. For all those deaf gobblers out there. Easy to use, no moving parts.
I have decided to go out on a limb, so to speak, and offer my calls in a wider variety of wood than is commonly available. Check this list and see if it doesn’t blow away the mail order competition.
- Curly Maple
- Not so curly maple
- Long hair maple
- Maple with pancakes
- American Walnut
- Non-American floornut
- Dickery (RARE)
- Dock (well seasoned, pressure-treated pine from lakes in central Florida. After the last hurricane season this is my most abundant wood)
- Mohogany (from big trees)
- Mopigany (from little trees)
- Myrtle –from Egypt, the actual remains of one of King Tut’s embalmed wives. The sound from these calls really wakes the dead. Nearly impossible to get anymore, I think it’s a pyramid scheme. By the way, for those of you hunters not in the know, when an Egyptian turkey says “tut-tut,” Buddy it’s gone!
- Pecan –excellent wood –turkeys are nuts about it
- Pe’-can –makes a real tinny sound, popular on the night before the hunt (those of you from the South know the difference)
- Mesquite –never use the stuff, there’s enough danged mesquites in the woods already and they drive me crazy
- Palm –if you can get a turkey sound from your palm, more power to ya’. I ain’t got the knack for it.
- Lightered Pine –use this call sparingly, it’ll set your blind on fire. Calls made from this wood are covered from one end to the other with warning labels, in the latest turkey camo pattern on the market, “Real Kee.” Also available in “Flossy Oak” for the health nuts.
- Balsa –a very light sound, this wood is sure to bring back memories of younger days building model airplanes. Also reminds you of Rice Crispies if you happen to sit on it.
- Cedar –cedar turkey? L.M.N.O. turkey! O.S.A.R., C.D.E.D.B.D.WNGS? L.I.B., M.R.A. turkey!
- Douglas Fir – nice sounds, just don’t rub it the wrong way
- Poplar –Poplar with young and old alike
- Sassafras – suck on this one between clucks for that good old-time root beer flavor
- Ironwood –wheels provided on this model
- Petrified wood –for old gobblers that have really been around awhile
- Rosewood –by any other name this call would still sound sweet
- Ivory –no longer available due to lack of donors
- Teak, Bubinga, Wenge, Bocote, Ebony, Concalo Alves, Cocobola, Zebra wood, Sandal wood, Lace wood, Purpleheart, Lignum Vitae, or Satin wood. Whew! I get tired just trying to remember them all. I didn’t make these up.
- Your own special piece of wood
Your call can be personalized with any message in good taste. Makes a nice gift.